The Price of Attachment

Friday Knight News

I remember the year that Clayton Delaney died…Nobody ever knew it but I went out in the woods and I cried; wrote Tom T Hall in a song he also recorded. I felt the same way about JFK, Bruce Lee and John Lennon. It’s strange to me as I had never met these men and I had formed an attachment to them.

I like everyone else have lost people that meant a great deal to us; people whom we have know personally. It seems to me that the tragic early and or violent deaths affect us more deeply. I have lived most of my life wanting attachments and for the most part have not been able to experience them. Then suddenly out of no where I find that I have some and they have developed over nothing more than a song, a common pursuit, or a stand of principle.

I always envied the guys who loved their cars, jobs, homes but I never felt that way. I liked the comfort of these things but never had pride over them. I also never truly felt pride for what I had done. I often proclaim the fact that I did tens of thousands of techniques a day at the time and thousands of repetitions of calisthenics daily but its all in an effort to convince myself that I have been doing something worthwhile. No amount of work was ever enough but I am happier now and I only do small amounts; between of thirty to fifty repetitions of calisthenics due to injuries unrelated (for the most part), to the martial arts.

Still writing and martial arts are the only two pursuits that bring life to me; although I do not see any great skill in myself for either pursuit. This is even after I have seen men brought to joy and laughter from my writing or to tears from things I have written. I only see my dyslexia as an obstacle but I do enjoy when my words have helped lift the burden of life even for a moment from the shoulders of someone else.

The same is true with my martial arts; I feel pleased that I have heard from others that people say I’m graceful and have power without effort. Still I am only aware of my short comings, my loss of speed, flexibility but isn't that the way it is for all of us? Still I wonder when I hear my sensei tell people when we were conducting shooting classes not to except to be able to do what I do as he said, “I’m not an ordinary human.” It also gives me pause when the bravest cop I knew (who in my book was the top in his field of tracking down felon probation/parole violators), say pretty much the same.

My wife and children have been and continue to be my evidence of God’s love for me. They are the greatest attachment I have experienced followed only by my attachments to my students. Hearing how I have been able to help them has given my life and my work value. It is a shame that having attachments and not having them both have a price to pay, on this day I remember the price that one man paid.

My stories are about martial arts adventures that are intertwined with paranormal or supernatural events. The following links are to the Kindle version books from the "Dream Walker” series. Our adventurers find themselves on a quest where they are confronted with both conspiracy and mystery. Their challenge is to unite their mind and body skills together utilizing what they have learned in the martial arts with the transcendental power of dream mediation. They attempt to do this while they are trying to make a life for themselves and elude those that seek to use and control them.

Conversations with a Sage (Book 1 of the Dream-Walker)

Conversations with a Sage: This explores Xander Davidson's early encounters with the mysterious fog like Dream Walking martial art sages. He ponders if they are real or if they are only remnants of his dreams. He mainly keeps this secret world to himself as he tries to copes with abuse, growing up without support or guidance and the mystery of his family's past. 

Xander and the Assassins Gift (Book 2 of the Dream-Walker)

The Assassins Gift: Xander Davidson struggles with the conspiracy of his family and the group that is actively trying to manipulate him to join them or die. The young Dream Walkers learns an early lesson to be careful about whom they let into their circle.


Warriors of Perception (Book 3 of the Dream-Walker)

Warriors of Perception: Xander Davidson and his band of friends embark on a mission to free themselves from their oppressors. They bravely face the challenge all the while vying for the right moment to turn the tables.

Jace Lee The Shift (Book 4 of the Dream-Walker)

Jace Lee The Shift: We find a new apprentice, Adam, that is fighting for his life. He is struggling to understand the amazing skills of his mentor, Jace Lee; a younger man that has trained under Xander Davidson. All the while his mentor attempts to reconcile the fact that his skills do not match up with the other Dream Walkers.


Jace Lee No Agenda (Dream Walker Book 5)

Jace Lee No Agenda: Jace Lee attempts to find himself on a self-imposed vision quest of sorts. Instead he finds himself being stalked by the same group that had previously sought after his teacher, (Xander Davidson). Instead of mastering his odd Dream Walking skills he finds love and the potential loss of his powers.

Jace Lee and the Tutelage of Ming Wu: Dream Walker 6 

Jace Lee The Tutelage of Ming Wu: Jace Lee rejoins his teacher Xander Davidson as they cope with a possible combined threat (the mysterious), Ming Wu and the Council that has continuously monitored the Dream Walkers.