Saturday, July 1, 2017

Confidence & Awareness

Mushin University™ Self-Knowledge the Ultimate Knowledge

"Confidence comes from your technique." Joe Lewis

For many people ego and bravado is a mask of confidence, but it is a false mask. In the martial arts these individuals were referred to as paper tigers. However, that was before the advent of the internet. After the advent of the internet, these people have become to be known as keyboard warriors and other such directives. Many of whom have never had a fight. A few have only had a school yard dust up, once in their lives. Yet, for the most part none of them had to face someone with a weapon while they themselves were unarmed that wanted to take something from them. Generally, what they want can be boiled down to one of four things, money, sex, validation, or your life.

It is easier to face down a stranger (online), that they have never met in their lives and fight on the keyboard than face a living enemy. Although many paper tigers and keyboard warriors might feel as if they have faced down others and won a fight simply because the other person walked away before things escalated into violence. The truth is many verbal disagreements do escalate into violence especially if there is a chemical lubricant invoked in the mix, either that or sex and/or money.

It still is quite another thing to have a stranger or group of strangers wanting to tear you apart often with no warning. This is compounded when they are armed. Many of my friends that were great martial artists and could beat me playing by the rules for points always asked for me as an escort when we went out to any place that might have the potential for trouble. They knew that I had weight in my strikes. I was always being told that I had heavy hands, and the like, despite my slight build. Even after I first reached six foot late in high school I only weighed 135 pound. Still, I did thousands of calisthenics a day but it was my fascination with hand and body conditioning that set me apart in this venue. Even as I grew to 6 ft 1 and a half inch tall and exploded to 155 pounds my hapkido instructor would often tell me I had perfect technique. Yet, I knew that there was something else that was more important as many of my friends also had as good or better form than myself.

Don't get me wrong, I tried my best to have perfect techniques but I had already lived through several traumas that my doctors had told me should have killed me by this point. I spent a lot of time trying to merge my kempo, jujutsu and hapkido together, I used the guidelines of Jeet Kune Do to aid me. However, years later after I meet Tom Manson, sensei I found that by emphasizing the aiki arts helped this a good deal but earlier on I had come to see that the true element to becoming great was something altogether different.

It was mindfulness, but developing technique was a key to mindfulness. The simple truth is mindfulness is moving meditation, it is simple but simplicity is hard. Developing this brought me a lot of attentions in certain circles. Groups that I eventual tried to avoid association with altogether. After a while, it seems I managed to suffocate the flame. Today I wish only to fan the flames of consciousness, at least enough to keep a dying ember alive a bit longer; yet, there still is a desire to do so.  Along with it there is the memory of the burden of awareness. So my question, is it only ego that craves this illumination of the mind, or is there something else much deeper that yearns for it? My warning is this, be careful as being on all the time has a cost.

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